what can I do?

fact: i pretty much worship eve ensler. everything that woman says is everything i wish i were smart enough to come up with on my own. she's brilliant, and inspiring.

fact: every nine seconds, a woman is beaten in the U.S. like this woman from des moines, who "had bruises on almost every part of her body caused by [her abuser] hitting, punching, kicking and pushing her over the past few weeks."

fact: in the Congo, it's much, much worse.


it all seems so inevitable, so overwhelming, so impossible to change, doesn't it?

but here's why i love eve ensler. in her recent HuffPo piece on the violence in the Congo, she suggests 10 actions we can ALL take to affect change...but the last two are so perfect, so applicable to us all, and so DO-ABLE.

9. Talk about the Congo everywhere you go

Be a pain in the ass. Ruin cocktail parties. Stop traffic. Give
sermons. Insert facts about Congo in every possible occasion, i.e., in response
to "How are you today?," you might say: "Well, I would be okay if women weren't
being raped in the DRC...."

Host teach-ins and screen V-Day's film Turning Pain to Power. Visit vday.org to access
both.

10. Get angry and stop being polite

Feel what your sister, mother, grandmother, daughter, wife, girlfriend
would be feeling if she were being gang raped or held as a sex slave for years
or if her insides were destroyed by sticks and guns and she could never have
another baby.

Feel feel feel.

Open yourself to feeling.

THAT'S what i'm trying to do with this blog...and hopefully i succeed, some of the time.

"the destruction of the female species"

as usual, eve ensler has hit it out of the park with her piece on huffpo from last week.

the women of the congo still live in fear every day.

Over twelve years, this war, this brutally inconceivable violence has raged on.
Almost six million dead. Almost 500 thousand raped. You tell the story of horror
and atrocity one too many times and then you realize nothing is changing and
that the world goes on getting its minerals, supporting its luxuries and the
death, massacres rapes and tortures of millions do not matter. And then you
can't find a real reason for wanting to live in humanity or be part of this
world but you don't want to kill yourself so you start screaming out, screaming
and screaming out and then you get called intense, angry and then mad. Because
that is what people who have crossed over get called.

At what point are we all going to cross over?

let's try this- instead of these women's names sounding unfamiliar and their location seeming remote, why don't we substitute our own names and hometowns? really. read that article again, and insert your name.

Mwamirindi/Carolynn was held as a sex slave and pieces of her flesh were cut every
few days. She was raped for months and watched them rape her sister in law who
they killed and cut open and served for dinner and then when Mwamirindi/Carolynn finally escaped and returned home, she was expelled by her husband who sold her land and house and threw her and her children into the street. Now she is three months pregnant with a baby from the rapes.

terrifying, isn't it? but it is REALITY for these women.

eve calls the situation there "the destruction of the female species of the Congo".

how can it be anything else?

---

in related news, evidence is piling up that the recession is indeed sparking an increase in violence against women and children domestically. BIG surprise there.

support V-day, support your local women's shelter, support your lawmakers who DO SOMETHING to stop gender-based violence (and ask those who don't if they consider their mothers, sisters, daughters and wives just collateral damage?)

more than half our population is at risk.

safety in numbers

just imagine if you were this teenaged girl's parents. you send her off to her high school homecoming dance. take tons of pictures of her in her new dress, with her hair done, and standing nervously next to her date. before you know it, she's called for a ride home...uh-oh. wondering what kind of adolescent embarassment or BFF squabble might have precipitated the early call, you get in the car to go pick her up.

except that you can't find her at the school gym.

when you do find her, she's been raped, beaten and robbed. by several men. in front of numerous other people. who did nothing to help her.

what could have been going through those people's minds? she deserved it? she asked for it? she should have known better?

the only message this kind of horror gives us is that women are considered OBJECTS, worthless and expendable.
still.
today.

equality is not a reality for women. no matter how many of us like to think 'we've come a long way baby'. not until the rape and torture of women on a daily basis is erradicated. and if we can't even do that in our own neighborhoods, how can we hope to do anything for the women in the congo, or darfur, or afghanistan?

THIS is what feminism is about. and this is why i can't understand when women and men shy away from that label. is the rape of one in every 4 women ok? does that sound like we've "achieved equality"?? rape culture is the reality. but i do not accept that this will always be the case. and the more of us who do not accept that reality, the sooner we can change it.

STOP RAPE.

friday screams

LOTS to scream about this week.

-----
forced child marraige (aka rape)
Highlights:

"World-wide 82 million girls are child brides."

"To be sure, childhood marriage is not an easy problem to address. Some of the causes are poverty, parental desire to prevent sexual relations outside of marriage, fear of rape--which would shame the family and either ostracize or lead to the murder of the victim--lack of educational opportunities for girls, and traditional notions of the primary role of women and girls as wives and mothers. It's perpetuated by religions that aim to keep women subordinate and deeply-rooted cultural norms in which men are encouraged to dominate women--If a wife is a child you can guarantee male control."

*please note- there seem to be a variety of causes listed in the paragraph above...but it's really all just different ways to say the same thing...that's self-evident, i hope.*

"Children like Kidan deserve to have a childhood."

*and, i would add, children like Kidan also deserve a FUTURE THEY CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES.*


-----
ending the CULTURE of violence against women
Great article. Highlights:

"The last meaningful federal survey took place in 2000, at the end of the Clinton administration. A Department of Justice survey on the "Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence" found that nearly 25% of surveyed women said they had been raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, partner, or date. That equates to roughly 4.8 million violent attacks against women annually in this country. And many women were the victim of repeat attacks (an average of 6.9 assaults by the same partner).
The study also found that "approximately one-fifth of all rapes, one-quarter of all physical assaults, and one-half of all stalkings" experienced by women will not be reported to the police."

*Key paragraph:
"It's curious how blind we become to our own culture. We can criticize tribal Muslim societies for their abuse of women, yet fail to see how ours sometimes does the same thing. What can we do? We can support organizations like DASH, which provides alternate housing for victims of domestic violence. We can press for public policies that address domestic violence. We can speak out against the culture of violence -- a culture that's strengthened every time a women is treated like an object. "


-----
End the world's two deadliest wars (and save women and girls in the process)
Highlights:

"Together, Sudan and Congo represent two of Africa's largest countries, two of Africa's richest natural resource bases, two of Africa's longest wars, two of the world's deadliest conflicts in the past half century, two of the continent's most predatory governments, and two of the most dangerous places in the world to be a woman or a girl. "

"Rape is employed by these conflicting groups as a tool of war and social control,..."

*who bears the brunt of the conflict, in real life, on the ground, every day? women and girls.*


-----
domestic violence in japan
Highlights:

"The latest data from Japan's national police find a 20 percent jump in the number of women reporting domestic violence. But advocates say there is a long way to go in a country that only criminalized family violence in 2001."

but " Forty percent of people over age 20 don't know there is a domestic violence prevention law and only 14 percent of people over 40 are familiar with it, according to the Gender Agency Bureau, based in Tokyo."

and "A Cabinet Office survey, which was conducted in October-November of last year, found that 33.2 percent of married women have experienced physical and mental abuse from their husbands"

*so, ONE THIRD of women report abuse when surveyed, but a large majority of women, especially over 40, don't even know yet that there is anything they can do to escape their abusers.*

-----
and finally, just a short snippet, a blurb, if you will, to top off alllllll the screaming today:

rape victim blamed for being raped at gunpoint in front of her children.

*Please people, don't ever stay at this mariott again.*

EPIC humanity FAIL.

real life

real life SVU. new york city bouncer brutalized, murdered and raped boston student.

real life effects of war. 1100 women are raped in the congo every month. more than 16 women (and girls) per day.

the part of that article that made me stop was this: Sexual violence in conflict zones has become so pervasisve that its threat to individual victims as well as entire communities and nations and requires an international response, said Margot Wallstrom, vice president of the European Commission.

ok, i appreciate the sentiment...but does anyone else think that the threat to individuals ALONE should prompt a response? only when it affects the larger community (i.e. not just WOMEN), does this become a 'crisis'.

but any effort to STOP RAPE is a step in the right direction. i want one of these:

shero alert

i almost started writing all about one of my "sheros", eve ensler. i do admire her courage, her persistence and her hard, hard work.

but then i realized the real sheros of this story are the congolese women who are surviving, and those who haven't survived.

War on Women in Congo

"I was in Bosnia during the war in 1994 when it was discovered there were rape camps where white women were being raped. Within two years there was adequate intervention. Yet, in Congo, femicide has continued for 12 years. Why?"

"What is happening in Congo is the most brutal and rampant violence toward women in the world. If it continues to go unchecked, if there continues to be complete impunity, it sets a precedent, it expands the boundaries of what is permissible to do to women's bodies..."

"...in Eastern Congo, 1,100 women a month are raped, according to the United Nations' most recent report."