you take the good, you take the bad...the facts of life?

the good: Girlafesto! the coolest thing i've seen in a LONG time. i'm going to print it out for my nieces' bedroom walls!


the bad: the reality of life for women and girls. this particular story is from iraqi kurdistan, and is actually really beautiful and inspirational- but it only highlights the DAILY fight for equality women face, everywhere. (via the awesome thefbomb.org )


the facts of life: violence against women harms men too, and men have a vitally important role to play in ending it. A Brother's Story is a great insight into the perspective of one man fighting against intimate partner violence. (via http://www.vday.org/)

FAIL

who can find the common denominator in these three stories, (other than the awesome reporting & commentary by the women at Ms. Magazine Blog)?

Feds Lied in Tribal Rape Case

U.S. Has "Failed" Rape Victims: Senate to Hear Testimony

A Call for Self-Defense Against Victim-Blaming AND Against Rape


here are the common themes i see:

1. Rape is the lowest priority violent crime...
2. ...because really, it's the woman's own fault...and it's just a "women's issue" anyway...
3. ...so why bother spending any actual resources (time, money, attention) addressing it?


rape culture says that 'it's all in our heads'...that most rape is perpetrated by terrifying strangers in alleys (not true), that most women 'cry rape' falsely (not true) just because they regret a sexual encounter or because they want to get back at a man with whom they are upset, and that it's our responsibility as the VICTIMS of violence to somehow ward off that violence before it begins...otherwise, well, what did we expect?

I expect law enforcement to take my report of a violent attack on my person seriously. I expect that if i submit to an often painful, embarassing and psychologically difficult physical exam so that evidence of my rape can be collected, that said evidence will actually be TESTED. I also expect that women of all races and ethnicities and orientations and classes will be protected under the
LAWS of the united states. Frankly, I expect a life free from fear of rape and sexual assault.

i know, i have very high expectations.

ya think?

"What is so piquant here is not the fact that Hillary understands that Obama is president. It is the growing sense that Hillary would have made a much, much better president than Obama."

(via Shakesville)

dreams...

the tagline of the Iowa Women's Foundation is "investing in the dreams of girls and the power of women".

MY dream is to work for a women's foundation someday, and be able to match my personal passion for feminism to my professional avocation- philanthropy and grant making. below is a really cool video chronicling the women's funding movement. of course money isn't EVERYTHING, but it's a key factor in driving systemic change, and we're only just now starting to really pick up steam. the need, and the potential, is staggering.

we need to keep putting our money where our mouth is. it sounds really simple, but intentionally prioritizing our giving to focus on women is very important, and often overlooked.

i love the statement at the end of the video- make history. fund boldly.

give to women!

dude, you're hilarious.

actual dude's facebook status seen today:

"Call 911, I was just raped at Mastercuts in [the mall], 3 kids haircuts $55, and then she wanted a tip. Tip is your way Overpriced. wont happen again."

we may have the trifecta, folks. 1. oblivious yet overt misogyny in the classic form of a completely inappropriate and offensive rape joke, 2. classist disregard for service worker earning a living wage (who, of course, happens to be a woman), and 3. no regard for grammar or syntax.

and the icing on the cake... he's available.

i know...try to control yourselves, ladies. don't hurt yourselves in the rush to nab this eligible stud.

Women Unbound! Finale

i just finished the second and final book i committed to read for the Women Unbound! Challenge!

i joined the challenge at the Philogynist level: "read at least two books, including at least one nonfiction one." and i did it! i've never done a blog reading challenge, so i'm pretty excited to complete my first one successfully! :)

here's my review of The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd.

my sister (Eli at Need More Shelves!) told me to read this book years ago; i'm not really sure why it took me so long. i've never read The Secret Life of Bees, or any of S.M.K's other work, but i guess i should have known how well-written it would be. i don't know why that surprised me so much, but wow. this woman sure can paint a picture. i often have trouble getting psyched up to read non-fiction. i buy the book thinking 'oh, that sounds fascinating!' with great intentions of diving right in and expanding my mental acuity...and then i pick up a novel and never get back around to reading the non-fiction. it's a bad habit, i know. but from the minute i opened up this book i was right there with the author, word by word, minute by minute, wanting to find out what she said, thought and discovered next.

another surprise to me was the context of this book. sue monk kidd used to be an evangelical christian women's author. !! she was (in her words) a "good daughter" of the church. this book is the testimony of her transformation, transfiguration, reconstruction, her journey.

her story is funny, sad, scary and inspiring. it's the story of a feminist awakening. i got chills when i read the section, which was one of the turning points for the author, where she came upon her daughter being heckled by two men. she described feeling rage, indignation and an unwillingness for her daughter, any daughter, to experience a lifetime of subordination and patriarchal repression.

this is also a story about a religious awakening. the author's exploration of ancient religious traditions focusing on feminine symbols of divinity is fascinating- i ate it right up. couldn't get enough. it's just so...validating...to read the truth about the origins of modern religion and why/how the female-centered traditions were suppressed. validating to know that all those misgivings i've had aren't crazy. validating to know that there really are other women out there who question the 'our father's and 'in his image's we've heard for so long.

i can't even begin to do this book justice here. suffice it to say, S.M.K. describes a journey from complacency to the Sacred Feminine that isn't yet finished. her experience is not presented as a prescription, but rather as an example of one woman's experience, which is refreshing and inspiring. i don't necessarily agree with every final conclusion or choice of the author's, but that's ok. i DO feel a real connection and empathy with her journey, and an appreciation for the path she is blazing with courage.

i'm definitely a fan. there were some parts of this story that were, for me, a little bit hippy-dippy (i'm just too cynical, even when try not to be)...but generally speaking, there was something on just about every single page that resonated deeply with me.

do yourself a favor: read this book. especially if you grew up in the church and consider yourself in any way a feminist. you'll be glad you did. i sure am!

couldn't have said it better myself.

From Feminsite:

I'm pretty sure I just hate cleaning toilets on my own, without any guidance
from Gloria Steinem on the subject.

LOL.

but yes, ahem, the evil feminists totally brainwashed the happy little housewives.

the f-word

there are so many f-words, aren't there? i wonder what it is about the sixth letter of the english alphabet anyway? i digress.

today, i'm floored by this blog entry on The Fbomb (which, incidentally, is SO great- teenage feminists!!) about being the FAT girl. it's so true, so honest, and so maddening.

I still knew 99% of the kids in my class – probably my school – were looking at me and seeing “the fat girl.” Not Danielle. Not me.

ugh. this hits me like a punch in the gut, seriously. why can't we, HUMAN BEINGS, just treat each other with respect? with dignity?

fat politics/fat feminism makes me passionate, because how can women ever really achieve true equitable standing in society when something as basic as their physical size, weight and appearance counts them out from the get-go?? are only conventionally "beautiful", thin, white women ever going to achieve equality?

that is simply unacceptable to me.

what is going ON?

haven't had much time to post lately, but i just have to say: W.T.H. IS GOING ON??

(trigger warning)
how many of these rape/incest/imprisonment stories to we have to keep hearing?

seriously.

the next time i hear someone say that women have achieved equality, or that rape culture is a myth...i might just flip right out on their willfully ignorant a**.

i can't say it better than my favorite spinster aunt:
"...a world order predicated on domination'n'submission oppresses entire classes of people. That oppression is experienced by these classes of people as discrimination, violence and hatred. That discrimination, violence and hatred are unhealthy and injurious."

which classes of people, one might ask? female people, brown people, differently-abled people, young people, old people, gay people, mentally-challenged people, poor people, and generally, anyone non-male, non-white, non-rich and non-NORM.

i hate the norm. viva la diferencia.

but i digress. those stories above hail from brazil, germany, and the US.
guess what... i'd put money on similar situations happening right now in dozens of other countries all over the world. because women are treated like property. it's really that simple. the worldwide oppression of women pervades all cultures, all religions, all national boundaries.

wake up, people. the war is far from over. as long as girls are being kidnapped, held against their will, raped by their fathers and forced to bear their children... we sure as h-e-double-hockey-sticks aren't equal.

still raging, still hoping

april sucks. it's my busiest month at work, so of course that means it flies by too quickly, resulting in me falling frustratingly behind, working late/odd hours, and feeling altogether frenzied for 30 days or so.

thus- no posts recently.


however! today was just too overwhelming, too whiplash-inducing to pass without comment. see exhibits A through F, below:


Exhibit A
after reading this exposition (warning- explicit language, and possible trigger warning) on Feminism for Young Dudes, twice, i've decided my reaction is more positive than negative. i get the ironic tone, and the exagerrated obviousnesss...i even smirked a couple of times ("What I would like is for you to stop thinking about women with an 18th-century disposition while you chill on your ipad in the future."). i think the author's intent is great, which is: feminism doesn't suck! it's actually good for everyone, not just "hairy-legged broads" (represent!). and any time a member of "the superstructure of male, white corporate oppression" speaks up for the oppressed (in this case, teh ladeez. but see also Tim Wise. ), their voice is amplified and enjoys a wider audience purely by virtue of their membership in the aforementioned oppression superstructure. we need all the allies, especially those with privilege, we can get to join the efforts to speak out against white, male, (hetero, able-bodied, etc.etc.etc.) privilege and equalize that good ol' "Liberty and Justice for All" stuff.

i especially liked the part about the way men (and women!) self-righteously throw around the words 'whore' and 'slut' to describe women who engage in consensual sex at similar rates to men...and how someday, maude-willing, those words will be as taboo and offensive and inappropriate as the n-word is- and for all the same reasons.

but i just can't shut that little voice in the back of my head up. the one that says, "why, oh why, in the year two thousand freakin' ten, do we still need to be having this conversation? why are 'young dudes' still in need of CONVINCING that their female friends, companions, sisters, lovers, are worthy of equal treatment and equal respect? why the h-e-double hockey sticks can't this message, which women (awesome women, like Jessica, and Fannie, and Pam, and Melissa, and Twisty!) are constantly repeating, be accepted as fact, instead of some sort of debatable theory?

so thanks for trying, Matt...i'm just annoyed that you have to try so hard.

-----

Exhibits B & C
then, after i processed all of that tasty internalized rage, i stumbled upon two perfect examples of Caution: Occupying space on planet earth While Female.

(Trigger Warnings for rape and violence)

this 12-year old girl, and this 13-year-old girl absolutely did not deserve the brutality they experienced at the hands of men.

incidentally, no headlines today about men being repeatedly and intentionally brutalized by women.

------

Exhibit D
then of course, a tuesday *headdesk*moment (they really do happen every day) re: boobquake. nice try re-claiming your bodies, grrlz...lucky for you, all the attention is still being paid exclusively to your chestular area, not your, you know...ideas & stuff. (this is what happens when we try to re-claim or re-define partiarchal ideas while operating within the partiarchal system. i'm not saying we shouldn't do it- i'm just saying, by and large, it doesn't work.)

----

Exhibits E & F
and then! a light shone upon me, and my plummeting morale was once again turned upward when i read the words of these two thoughtful, accomplished, intelligent women, discussing delightfully similar concepts (namely: the intersection of us all, and our human responsibility to each other- to care for and embrace, rather than to belittle and destroy):

Anousheh Ansari (the first female commercial space flight participant, and the first Muslim woman to travel to space): What We Do Matters More Than Labels.

Especially love her point here:

Remind people of who they really are, and not which box they are in, because
those lines [that divide us] really do not exist.

And,
Janet Haag (executive director of Fellowship in Prayer, and organization that calls people to interfaith spiritual practice): Let Us Pray -- With or Without a National Day of Prayer.

As she reminds us:

As a number of wise people have observed, "Prayer doesn't change God; prayer
changes us." We are in need of such transformation-- to become reconcilers,
peacemakers, and justice-bearers. I think those values are shared by theists,
non-theists and athiests-- all who hope for a better world.

amen to that.

scream-worthy

here's what's making me want to scream today:

Fat Hatred
it's insidious "because being fat is viewed not only as a flaw, but as a flaw by choice, a moral failing due to weakness of character." (via Shakesville)

love this last line- so maddeningly true, for so many women:

There is not "a thin person" inside of me screaming to get out. There is only me, screaming for my right to exist in the body I have.

--

Prude? (warning- graphic descriptions of sex in the linked article)
objectification. so old news, isn't it? women are objectified every day, in every medium. great blog post from Ms. Magazine about the effects of that omnipresent objectification. but my question is- so how to we really stop it? really?

the answer i'm coming up with more and more often is: women need to make more MONEY. feminists need to acquire wealth. instead of making feminism our life's work, we need to make money like everyone else, and then we can use it to advance our feminist ideals. but without the power that comes with having serious capital, how will we, for example, have any effect on the development, production and marketing of movies and tv shows that objectify us? really? how will we?

--

Afghan women fear loss of hard-won progress
what the author of this article in the Washington Post really means to say, i think, is that Afghan women fear what women all over the world fear (and in particular, what u.s. women rightfully fear this week as well, as health care purportedly comes up for a "final" vote): BEING THROWN UNDER THE BUS.

forgive us if we find it hard to swallow when men in positions of power and leadership say, "trust us, we have your best interest in mind."

--

After 13 years, police still hunting for East Coast Rapist
hunted like animals; women are victims of men's violence every day. how is it possible that rape is still tolerated in this country. that rapists are not convicted for the predatory criminals that they are, and in fact, rape kits are put on a shelf and never even tested for DNA?

how.
is.
this.
possible?
unless there is a real and systematic repression of women going on? women's voices, women's abuses, and women's lives are silenced, covered up (unless they are deemed "sexy"), and ignored. it's real. and every woman in america is affected by it.

--

How We're Doing: Women and Wealth
this is staggering. literally staggering. Ms. Magazine brings light to the recent study by the Insight Center for Community Economic Development, also highlighted in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette, which reveals:

1. single white women (between the ages of 36-49) make only 61% as much as white men on average. that 61% works out to a median wealth of about $42,600. (and wealth = all owned assets)

chew on that for a minute. lily ledbetter knows what i'm talking about.
next,

2. single black women (of the same age) have a median wealth of $5.
you didn't read that incorrectly. 1,2,3,4,5.

$5.

now either EVERY single black woman between 36-49 is ____(fill in the blank with the disgusting stereotypes of welfare-abusing/drug-abusing/lazy/stupid/makesmewanttothrowup)...

OR

maybe, just maybe, there are system-level inequalities that contribute to this sickening gap in wealth & self-sufficiency. for instance: as a white woman who was raised in a two-parent home, it was just sort of expected that i would attend college. (it was NOT expected that my parents would pay for it.) so i worked 3 jobs and applied for scholarships and made it through.

but what if i hadn't come from a 2-parent household? what if neither of my parents had college educations? what if i couldn't find work on the radio (which i did) because my voice sounded "too black"? what if no one told me about the opportunities to test out of entry-level courses, which enabled me to graduate early and accumulate less debt?

The U.S. has a long history of policies that transferred wealth from people of
color to whites [...]As examples, the Indian Removal Act of 1830 forcibly
removed Cherokees from their traditional lands to make room for white settlers.
Jim Crow laws kept African Americans out of better paying jobs, quality public
education and business opportunities. The benefits of citizenship, open to
Europeans, was forbidden to Asian immigrants. The exclusion of Social Security
coverage for a whole generation of farm workers, laborers and domestic workers,
kept Latino and black elders in poverty. Advantage and disadvantage is passed
from generation to generation, often with a cumulative effect, thereby
contributing to the current racial wealth gap.

it isn't a myth. race matters, especially to women. to women's lives.

so, what makes YOU want to scream today?

Women in the World Cheat Sheet

this is so great, and i love how they've called it a cheat sheet. for any time you need to quickly remember the way to solve problems for women (which become problems for men, of course)-

here are the ways to do it, clear and simple:

1. Get men on board

2. Pay families that embrace change

3. Publicize victims' stories

4. Support a woman entrepreneur through microcredit

5. Give a woman a phone

6. Build bridges

none of these are difficult strategies, or earth-shattering ideas. they make sense. give women a voice, access, capital, and support. period.

this cheat sheet needs to be on every senator & representative's desk, on every president, prime minister and world leader's agenda. voila! treating women equally leads to equal opportunities, which leads to healthier communities.

conference envy

i SOOOO wish i could be in new york this weekend for the Women in the World Summit.

Hillary Clinton, Queen Raina, Meryl Streep, Madeline Albright, Katie Couric, Valerie Jarrett, Christiane Amanpour, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Tina Brown...

i would just DIE. die die die! what an unbelievable and ambitious project, with the simple purpose to "discuss the urgent challenges facing women and girls around the world, from sex slavery to child marriage to domestic violence. Most importantly, we’ll be highlighting concrete solutions—ways we all can support efforts to empower women in the face of horrific trends." (Tina Brown)

i can't wait to follow all the action on twitter. i can't even hardly describe how much i wish i could attend. seriously, i would DIE!

i'll try to post interesting & compelling tidbits throughout the summit as i see them.

things that make you go... UGH.

NPR is currently doing a series on campus rape...today's installment is particularly good, or bad, depending on your perspective:

There's a common assumption about men who commit sexual assault on a college
campus: That they made a one-time, bad decision. But psychologist David Lisak
says this assumption is wrong —-and dangerously so.

the story goes on to refute the usual assuption that college men who rape are generally good guys who just made 1 bad decision. in fact, it seems that "On college campuses, repeat predators account for 9 out of every 10 rapes."

uh-huh. why am i not surprised? in our culture, and around the world, women are expendable commodities. frankly, with all our take-back-the-night rallies and public awareness campaigns and educational efforts, i don't think we have yet come close to reaching the point at which the majority of men actually think that rape (when they do it) is wrong.

the first and most important step is to stop treating rape on college campuses as a 'violation of the campus conduct code'. (are you kidding me?) just because it happens within a college community, and is perpetrated by a person who is paying tuition, doesn't mean rape is not a CRIME. the first and third parts of the NPR series dealt specifically with the ludicrously lax treatment of rapists on college campuses. not only is the college to blame, but this investigative series actually tracked culpability all way up to the US Department of Education (which ruled that the university in question did not need to expell the man found guilty of raping a fellow student.) so colleges give rapists a slap on the wrist, and the federal government says it's ok. awesome.

there is currently new leadership in charge of the Dept of Ed office which investigates these kinds of situations, appointed by President Obama. let's hope we can start to see rape being taken more seriously under a president who actually purports to care about women's rights.

STOP RAPE.

Resources:

http://www.stoprapenow.org/

http://www.mencanstoprape.org/

http://www.now.org/issues/violence/NOW_Sexual_Assault_Toolkit.pdf **"Take Action Against Sexual Assault on Campus"**

http://www.securityoncampus.org/

Women Unbound! Update

Well, I've finally finished my first of two books for the Women Unbound! challenge I joined this year! I've just completed The Robber Bride, by Margaret Atwood. Here are my thoughts:

I will admit- this book took me a little while to get in the groove. I loved two other Atwood novels, (A Handmaid's Tale, and Oryx & Crake), but hadn't read anything of hers that wasn't dystopian/sci-fi yet. Turns out, I sort of prefer that style to this one. The Robber Bride is the story of four women, friends since college, and the connections and disconnections throughout their lives, fueled by the antics of Zenia, the sexpot friend whose life is either enviable or pitiable, depending on whether she has stolen your husband yet.

I just felt like this story was a little bit anti-climactic. Atwood does (as always) create such realistic, identifiable and unique characters. These women are fascinating people. But their story unfolded a little slowly for my taste. Also, I wanted at least one of them to find their ultimate self-worth apart from their husbands (or the loss thereof). But they were focused almost exclusively on holding on to the men. As I read, I kept saying to myself, "Why do they let her get away with wreaking all this havoc on their lives?" The 'girl drama' actually became a little distracting, for me.

Overall, I did enjoy the story, but it didn't compel me. I appreciate the interesting female characters, (and they were interesting), but in the end, I was hoping for a little more adventure, and that just isn't the kind of book this was.

I definitely haven't been put off of reading Atwood. Her prose is always gorgeous, and I look forward to the next opportunity to read her work.

refusing to be ignored

wow.

what a powerful essay by Mona Eltahawy, about the horror of, and real reason behind, the practice of female genital mutilation.

"[The] analogy of penis chopping was absurd not just because if boys were being
mutilated the world would not be so silent but because, really, who would want
to control male sexuality? We invent little blue pills to boost it."

like so many other practices which are ingrained, entrenched and generally accepted, FGM is about so much more than the actual physical act. it's about power and control.

as is rape.
as is the wage gap.
as are standards of beauty.

and all this manipulation, subjugation, and control over women is everywhere.

no really. EVERYWHERE.

"Prevalent mostly in Africa, the Middle East and parts of Asia, FGM is no
longer a traditional practice that harms girls just "over there". As a result of
immigration and refugee movements, FGM is now being practiced in the U.S.
Canada, Europe, Australia and New Zealand."

it is NOT just "over there" that women are cut.
it is NOT just "over there" that raped women are murdered because they bring shame to their husband or father's family.
it is NOT just "over there" that women and girls are kept from reaching their full potential by lack of education, resource and the simple encouragement to try, while boys not only receive all those things, but are expected to be successful socially, financially and sexually.

these symptoms of sexism harm women AND men. girls AND boys.

what if human beings could find a way to treat one another as equally valued, of equal worth and dignity...? wow, indeed.

for now, i applaud Mona Eltahawy and women like her who are refusing to be ignored.

blog for choice!

today is the 37th anniversary of roe v. wade. NARAL Pro Choice America celebrates this milestone through Blog for Choice Day!



In honor of Dr. George Tiller, who often wore a button that simply read, "Trust Women," this year's Blog for Choice Day question is: What does Trust Women mean to you? in order to participate- just answer the question, and make sure to let NARAL know that you are participating!

so, to me, Trust Women means that i wouldn't have to hear anything like "don't worry your pretty little head about it" ever again.

turns out, my pretty little head is perfectly capable of worrying about anything it wants to, and furthermore, it has every right to worry, fret, parse, weigh or decide what's right for its own self, tyvm. (also: condescending much? )

Trust Women covers so much ground. it makes me think of so many issues in addition to reproductive rights: from the prosecution of sex-workers (instead of the johns) to the treatment of women atheletes, academics and politicians, to equal pay.

"Trust Women" is a sobering reminder that so much of the world still needs reminding that women are of inherently equal value, and should be treated as such. period. full stop.

----

in other news- how much do i love Mo"Nique's hairy legs at the globes last weekend?? (via Feministing). judging by all the uproar about her awesome mashup of furry-and-french pedicure, clearly women aren't even trusted to make the right choices about their own LEGS.
*eye roll*

random rants

a couple of items that caught my eye during my daily headline perusal:

3 recent "domestic" fatalities in iowa seen as a coincidence.
except they're no coincidence. they are all products of the same system that devalues women's lives and glorifies violence and abuse as acceptable solutions to conflict. that system goes by many names, but his friends call him patriarchy.

to spawn or not to spawn
i feel a lot of the same frustrations Lucy does. like her, there are some children i dearly love (my perfect niece being one of them!), and find babies endearing (when they aren't smelly, loud or messy.) but i have ZERO interest in creating one of my own. zilch. nada. zip. not only do i not feel any sort of biological imperative personally, i'm radical enough in my beliefs about our exploding global population, i usually have to bite my tongue when i hear about people having babies for the purposes of "carrying on the family name" (are you kidding? it's a NAME. adopt a child and give them your name! but that's a whole other discussion re: the importance of men's names...) or "to feel complete" (isn't that pretty much the definition of co-dependency? needing another being to complete you?).

anyway- the pressure to have babies is omnipresent for women my age. while i do believe women who choose to bear children should not be treated unequally, paid less, or be automatically assumed to be the primary caregivers (unless they chose to have a baby without a partner; and, stay-at-home mom should be a paid position with benefits), i also believe that women who choose not to have children should receive equitable treatment. in other words- the decision whether or not to have babies should be no more defining than the decision to have extra foam on her latte. fertility should not be a moral issue.

see also: choosing not to bear children for ecological reasons; and, if men had babies.

and finally today, Jessica Valenti takes on feminist elitism in a really interesting blog post. she says (and i agree):

Everybody – whether or not they take Women’s Studies, have read Judith Butler or
heard of Foucault – deserves to have feminism in their lives.

I am proudly someone who tries to convince women that feminism will make their
lives better – not only because it’s the truth, but because then those same
women go on to change their families, communities and even country.

i should say, i bet the author Jessica is refuting (Nina Power) would have some really interesting things to say as well. but it struck me as i read Jessica's post- what if more women (like, significantly more...like, ALL women) realized all the positive impacts feminism could have, and has had, on their lives? what if all women really did believe that women (individually and as a class) are people too? the world as we know it would look radically different if more than half its population actually did think that women were 'created equal'.

yep, i read things like that and i start doing the math in my head (no small feat, as i am of course, a woman, and those numbers- they just fly right out of my head!). how many more years have i likely got on this planet? how much progress can we make in that time? could i actually live to see the day?

here's hoping!

reflection

i haven't blogged a lot recently, for a few reasons. holidays are busy, but also because i'm not sure what i'm doing here, frankly. i rant & rave, but i often end up only feeling worse after. what is really changing in the world for women? i saw this article yesterday and it just sort of hit me: what good am i actually doing? i'm not despairing of the work of feminist organizations, foundations, and individuals who care about eliminating sexism and inequality...but of my own role in the pursuit.

"This month over 350 girls have had their sexual organs mutilated as part of the
traditional practices of their culture."

and this is only one indicator, of course. i feel powerless to make any real change. i follow (and am endlessly inspired and incited by) a number of outstanding feminist bloggers daily (Feministe, I Blame the Patriarchy, Feministing, Shakesville, Fannie's Room, Madre, NOW, V-Day, Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History), but even those eloquent and vocal advocates...individually and collectively...what are they (we) changing? i know i don't even keep up with a tiny portion of all the incredible voices out there in the world, calling for change, but all those voices still seem so quiet sometimes, in the face of the unrelenting and brutal violence, discrimination and degradation of women: every day, in every city and town, in every country, all over this world. WHY is it so impossible to comprehend that women are beings of EQUAL value, worth and dignity, and should be treated as such, in every way? WHY is respect such a rare commodity? WHY is brutality against women and girls considered inevitable, just a part of life, something WE (women) need to be vigilant in order to avoid? (don't walk to your car in the dark, take self-defense classes, don't wear short skirts, etc. etc. etc.)

"...we categorize brutal violence against a partner or spouse as "domestic
issues" ... as if they bear the same level of importance as sweeping the floor
or doing the dishes. "

WHY hadn't i thought of that?? wow, that just pisses me off. i'll do my best never to refer to violence against women as DOMESTIC ever again.

in 2010, i want to be more active, think more critically, and be less tolerant of discrimination (in every form).

this could very well be the cheesiest thing i've ever written, but recently i just can't stop listening to Defying Gravity (of course i've loved the song - from the musical Wicked - since i first heard it a couple of years ago, but maybe it's because i just got the Glee soundtrack for christmas, wahoo!). the lyrics just could not be more apt to how i'm feeling right now:


I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
...
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!


i let things get me down, for sure. but in 2010 i want to try to make a difference on a personal, local level, where i can (maybe) see the ripple effect of my efforts more directly. i know this about myself: i tend toward being darkly pessimistic, or at least staunchly cynical. i've been feeling that pessimism lately, and i want to swing back toward optimism in the new year.

i've been considering some new ink, and i believe i may have decided on what to get, which coincides with my feeling of surging determination.

just one word, reminiscent of one (or 2) of my favorite songs, as well as our daily struggle for our rights.

RISE.

rise up in 2010!

responsibility: men, what's your policy?

i found this article ("Is Feminism Men's Work Too?") to be a well-reasoned and effective call to action for male feminists.

i especially appreciate this quotation from Khary Lazarre-White, founder of Brotherhood/Sister Sol in NYC, and the overt connection he makes between feminism and morality.

“It is personally important for me to do this work because I try to live my life by a moral and ethical compass, and I know that fighting sexism is a daily lived responsibility—from structural organizational work decisions, to personal relationships, to how one lives one’s life.”

in other words, it is ethical to join the feminist movement; the unequal treatment of women is immoral.