still raging, still hoping

april sucks. it's my busiest month at work, so of course that means it flies by too quickly, resulting in me falling frustratingly behind, working late/odd hours, and feeling altogether frenzied for 30 days or so.

thus- no posts recently.


however! today was just too overwhelming, too whiplash-inducing to pass without comment. see exhibits A through F, below:


Exhibit A
after reading this exposition (warning- explicit language, and possible trigger warning) on Feminism for Young Dudes, twice, i've decided my reaction is more positive than negative. i get the ironic tone, and the exagerrated obviousnesss...i even smirked a couple of times ("What I would like is for you to stop thinking about women with an 18th-century disposition while you chill on your ipad in the future."). i think the author's intent is great, which is: feminism doesn't suck! it's actually good for everyone, not just "hairy-legged broads" (represent!). and any time a member of "the superstructure of male, white corporate oppression" speaks up for the oppressed (in this case, teh ladeez. but see also Tim Wise. ), their voice is amplified and enjoys a wider audience purely by virtue of their membership in the aforementioned oppression superstructure. we need all the allies, especially those with privilege, we can get to join the efforts to speak out against white, male, (hetero, able-bodied, etc.etc.etc.) privilege and equalize that good ol' "Liberty and Justice for All" stuff.

i especially liked the part about the way men (and women!) self-righteously throw around the words 'whore' and 'slut' to describe women who engage in consensual sex at similar rates to men...and how someday, maude-willing, those words will be as taboo and offensive and inappropriate as the n-word is- and for all the same reasons.

but i just can't shut that little voice in the back of my head up. the one that says, "why, oh why, in the year two thousand freakin' ten, do we still need to be having this conversation? why are 'young dudes' still in need of CONVINCING that their female friends, companions, sisters, lovers, are worthy of equal treatment and equal respect? why the h-e-double hockey sticks can't this message, which women (awesome women, like Jessica, and Fannie, and Pam, and Melissa, and Twisty!) are constantly repeating, be accepted as fact, instead of some sort of debatable theory?

so thanks for trying, Matt...i'm just annoyed that you have to try so hard.

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Exhibits B & C
then, after i processed all of that tasty internalized rage, i stumbled upon two perfect examples of Caution: Occupying space on planet earth While Female.

(Trigger Warnings for rape and violence)

this 12-year old girl, and this 13-year-old girl absolutely did not deserve the brutality they experienced at the hands of men.

incidentally, no headlines today about men being repeatedly and intentionally brutalized by women.

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Exhibit D
then of course, a tuesday *headdesk*moment (they really do happen every day) re: boobquake. nice try re-claiming your bodies, grrlz...lucky for you, all the attention is still being paid exclusively to your chestular area, not your, you know...ideas & stuff. (this is what happens when we try to re-claim or re-define partiarchal ideas while operating within the partiarchal system. i'm not saying we shouldn't do it- i'm just saying, by and large, it doesn't work.)

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Exhibits E & F
and then! a light shone upon me, and my plummeting morale was once again turned upward when i read the words of these two thoughtful, accomplished, intelligent women, discussing delightfully similar concepts (namely: the intersection of us all, and our human responsibility to each other- to care for and embrace, rather than to belittle and destroy):

Anousheh Ansari (the first female commercial space flight participant, and the first Muslim woman to travel to space): What We Do Matters More Than Labels.

Especially love her point here:

Remind people of who they really are, and not which box they are in, because
those lines [that divide us] really do not exist.

And,
Janet Haag (executive director of Fellowship in Prayer, and organization that calls people to interfaith spiritual practice): Let Us Pray -- With or Without a National Day of Prayer.

As she reminds us:

As a number of wise people have observed, "Prayer doesn't change God; prayer
changes us." We are in need of such transformation-- to become reconcilers,
peacemakers, and justice-bearers. I think those values are shared by theists,
non-theists and athiests-- all who hope for a better world.

amen to that.

violence = violence

anyone who knows me would (hopefully) tell you that i care about cultural sensitivity and that i respect and admire differences in culture, religion, background, etc.

what i do not respect is the way some people (not any particular culture as a whole, or religion...but people who care more about power and dominion than their fellow human being) use their culture or religion as an excuse to perpetrate violence against women and girls.

this is a great blog post from Madre, an incredible organization dedicated to fighting violence against women, creating financial equality and building peace. their blog highlights all kinds of amazing efforts, and the one they link to in this blog post, the Global Campaign to Stop Killing and Stoning Women looks like something i'd admire too- so straightforward and truthful. violence against women cannot be hidden behind the veil of religion, culture or tradition.

violence is ALWAYS violence. it's never right.

Women in the World Cheat Sheet

this is so great, and i love how they've called it a cheat sheet. for any time you need to quickly remember the way to solve problems for women (which become problems for men, of course)-

here are the ways to do it, clear and simple:

1. Get men on board

2. Pay families that embrace change

3. Publicize victims' stories

4. Support a woman entrepreneur through microcredit

5. Give a woman a phone

6. Build bridges

none of these are difficult strategies, or earth-shattering ideas. they make sense. give women a voice, access, capital, and support. period.

this cheat sheet needs to be on every senator & representative's desk, on every president, prime minister and world leader's agenda. voila! treating women equally leads to equal opportunities, which leads to healthier communities.

conference envy

i SOOOO wish i could be in new york this weekend for the Women in the World Summit.

Hillary Clinton, Queen Raina, Meryl Streep, Madeline Albright, Katie Couric, Valerie Jarrett, Christiane Amanpour, Shohreh Aghdashloo, Tina Brown...

i would just DIE. die die die! what an unbelievable and ambitious project, with the simple purpose to "discuss the urgent challenges facing women and girls around the world, from sex slavery to child marriage to domestic violence. Most importantly, we’ll be highlighting concrete solutions—ways we all can support efforts to empower women in the face of horrific trends." (Tina Brown)

i can't wait to follow all the action on twitter. i can't even hardly describe how much i wish i could attend. seriously, i would DIE!

i'll try to post interesting & compelling tidbits throughout the summit as i see them.

what can I do?

fact: i pretty much worship eve ensler. everything that woman says is everything i wish i were smart enough to come up with on my own. she's brilliant, and inspiring.

fact: every nine seconds, a woman is beaten in the U.S. like this woman from des moines, who "had bruises on almost every part of her body caused by [her abuser] hitting, punching, kicking and pushing her over the past few weeks."

fact: in the Congo, it's much, much worse.


it all seems so inevitable, so overwhelming, so impossible to change, doesn't it?

but here's why i love eve ensler. in her recent HuffPo piece on the violence in the Congo, she suggests 10 actions we can ALL take to affect change...but the last two are so perfect, so applicable to us all, and so DO-ABLE.

9. Talk about the Congo everywhere you go

Be a pain in the ass. Ruin cocktail parties. Stop traffic. Give
sermons. Insert facts about Congo in every possible occasion, i.e., in response
to "How are you today?," you might say: "Well, I would be okay if women weren't
being raped in the DRC...."

Host teach-ins and screen V-Day's film Turning Pain to Power. Visit vday.org to access
both.

10. Get angry and stop being polite

Feel what your sister, mother, grandmother, daughter, wife, girlfriend
would be feeling if she were being gang raped or held as a sex slave for years
or if her insides were destroyed by sticks and guns and she could never have
another baby.

Feel feel feel.

Open yourself to feeling.

THAT'S what i'm trying to do with this blog...and hopefully i succeed, some of the time.

Women Unbound!

well this is cool!

Women Unbound reading challenge, recommended to me by my sister, (who, by the way, blogs at As Usual, I Need More Bookshelves. Check her out!)

hmm...i've never posted any book reviews, but this feminist reading challenge is perfect for me, because i can join the challenge at a lower level of commitment ("Philogynist: read at least two books, including at least one nonfiction one.") to just dip my toes in. :)

so i suppose i should pick a couple of books...i might have to cheat and choose from my sister's list (she is, after all, my personal librarian- i don't even bother picking books on my own any more!) ok, the two books i will ready by November 30, 2010 are:

Fiction: The Robber Bride, Margaret Atwood
(yay! my sister had this on her list, which reminded me that i actually already have this book!)

Non-Fiction: ???
i confess, i don't read as much non-fiction as i'd like. (well, i don't read as much as i'd like PERIOD, but particularly not non-fiction.) but i think i've got something at home i can commit to reading...just need to choose. my non-fiction choice is TBA.

ETA: I'm going to choose from these three, apparently thematic, non-fiction choices:

Dance of the Dissident Daughter, Sue Monk Kidd

When God was a Woman, Merlin Stone

Out of the Garden: Women Writers on the Bible, ed. Christina Buchmann & Celina Spiegel

also, here's the Women Unbound meme to get us started:

1. What does feminism mean to you? Does it have to do with the work sphere? The social sphere? How you dress? How you act?
feminism, to me, is best summed up by the deceptively simple quotation "...feminism is the radical notion that women are people"
although i would probably add one clarification: feminism is the radical notion that women are people who are of equal value, worth and deserving of rights as male people.
doesn't that sound logical? reasonable? and yet it is still undeniably revolutionary.
this applies in every sphere, because in every sphere, women are treated unequally.

2. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Why or why not?
yes, yes, a thousand times YES.

3. What do you consider the biggest obstacle women face in the world today? Has that obstacle changed over time, or does it basically remain the same?
i personally believe violence against women is (should be) the most pressing issue for feminists. the gendercide (literally) of women across the globe is a direct result of the worldwide and historic de-valuing of women as people. when women are not considered to be equal in worth to men, they are abused. they are by default considered to be automatic prey, and unworthy of equal protections, rights and/or dignities. this doesn't happen just to poor women, or uneducated women, or bad women, or good women, or white women or black women or asian women, or straight women, or women who 'should know better' or women who 'asked for it' or to victims. it happens to every woman.

our very culture de-values women on a daily basis, as do cultures around the world.
male = normal and female = not (less than) male.

the more women and men who
1. live by example and treat women with equal respect and dignity every day, and who
2. speak out and stand up against violence against women in every form (verbal, physical, sexual, psychological, overt, covert, institutionalized, racial, religious, educational, professional, personal), and who
3. teach children that women do have equal worth, and sexism, violence against women and inequality are unnaccepatable...

the more quickly change will come.

thanks Eli!!!

gendercide

this book is on my list: Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

among the alarming findings: 1 maternal death every MINUTE worldwide.

this review (among others) reminds me why i gotta read this book.

check it out!

i LOVE this!

women confronting their abusers! look at these two awesome projects- one older, one current.

war zone (1998)

holla back

in both cases, women (primarily) are actively responding to men (primarily) who leer at them, catcall them, and otherwise treat them like objects. i wish every woman could do this every day (i.e. i wish every woman felt safe in responding to harrassment), so that someday, instead of catcalls and street harrassement being a daily occurance, a matter of reflex, they would be activities considered as strange and as ostracized as, i don't know, wearing spandex, or not picking up your dog's business on a walk.

because make no mistake: our culture, which permits and even encourages ('boys will be boys') the treatment of women as nothing more than objects, is the SAME culture which permits and even encourages abuse, rape and the continued real life subjugation of women. women have the RIGHT to live their lives free from abuse. but many do not live with the freedom that right should guarantee.

friday screams

LOTS to scream about this week.

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forced child marraige (aka rape)
Highlights:

"World-wide 82 million girls are child brides."

"To be sure, childhood marriage is not an easy problem to address. Some of the causes are poverty, parental desire to prevent sexual relations outside of marriage, fear of rape--which would shame the family and either ostracize or lead to the murder of the victim--lack of educational opportunities for girls, and traditional notions of the primary role of women and girls as wives and mothers. It's perpetuated by religions that aim to keep women subordinate and deeply-rooted cultural norms in which men are encouraged to dominate women--If a wife is a child you can guarantee male control."

*please note- there seem to be a variety of causes listed in the paragraph above...but it's really all just different ways to say the same thing...that's self-evident, i hope.*

"Children like Kidan deserve to have a childhood."

*and, i would add, children like Kidan also deserve a FUTURE THEY CHOOSE FOR THEMSELVES.*


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ending the CULTURE of violence against women
Great article. Highlights:

"The last meaningful federal survey took place in 2000, at the end of the Clinton administration. A Department of Justice survey on the "Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence" found that nearly 25% of surveyed women said they had been raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, partner, or date. That equates to roughly 4.8 million violent attacks against women annually in this country. And many women were the victim of repeat attacks (an average of 6.9 assaults by the same partner).
The study also found that "approximately one-fifth of all rapes, one-quarter of all physical assaults, and one-half of all stalkings" experienced by women will not be reported to the police."

*Key paragraph:
"It's curious how blind we become to our own culture. We can criticize tribal Muslim societies for their abuse of women, yet fail to see how ours sometimes does the same thing. What can we do? We can support organizations like DASH, which provides alternate housing for victims of domestic violence. We can press for public policies that address domestic violence. We can speak out against the culture of violence -- a culture that's strengthened every time a women is treated like an object. "


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End the world's two deadliest wars (and save women and girls in the process)
Highlights:

"Together, Sudan and Congo represent two of Africa's largest countries, two of Africa's richest natural resource bases, two of Africa's longest wars, two of the world's deadliest conflicts in the past half century, two of the continent's most predatory governments, and two of the most dangerous places in the world to be a woman or a girl. "

"Rape is employed by these conflicting groups as a tool of war and social control,..."

*who bears the brunt of the conflict, in real life, on the ground, every day? women and girls.*


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domestic violence in japan
Highlights:

"The latest data from Japan's national police find a 20 percent jump in the number of women reporting domestic violence. But advocates say there is a long way to go in a country that only criminalized family violence in 2001."

but " Forty percent of people over age 20 don't know there is a domestic violence prevention law and only 14 percent of people over 40 are familiar with it, according to the Gender Agency Bureau, based in Tokyo."

and "A Cabinet Office survey, which was conducted in October-November of last year, found that 33.2 percent of married women have experienced physical and mental abuse from their husbands"

*so, ONE THIRD of women report abuse when surveyed, but a large majority of women, especially over 40, don't even know yet that there is anything they can do to escape their abusers.*

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and finally, just a short snippet, a blurb, if you will, to top off alllllll the screaming today:

rape victim blamed for being raped at gunpoint in front of her children.

*Please people, don't ever stay at this mariott again.*

EPIC humanity FAIL.

the rape of a nation

nation of women, that is. today, and every day.

¹ep·i·dem·ic

Pronunciation:

\ˌe-pə-ˈde-mik\

Function:

adjective

Etymology:

French épidémique, from Middle French, from epidemie, noun, epidemic, from Late Latin epidemia, from Greekepidēmia visit, epidemic, from epidēmos visiting, epidemic, from epi- + dēmos people — more at demagogue

Date:

1603

1: affecting or tending to affect a disproportionately large number of individuals within a population, community, or region at the same time epidemic>

two parents sexually abuse & rape adopted daughter, separately and unbeknownst to one another.

rape is used worldwide as a weapon of war. i know that's a cliche by know- but imagine being born (through no fault of your own) as a newborn baby girl...in the congo. not so cliche now.

rape isn't enough- this guy decided to beat her in the head with a HAMMER as well.

14- year- old girl raped. there are no other details really...there don't need to be. this girls life is changed forever.

an army sergeant forced a women into his car and raped her in front of a restaurant in bel air. she tried to bang on the window, but no one heard. this we'll defend?

not just rape- rape of a THIRTEEN year old, MENTALLY HANDICAPPED girl...ON TAPE. but women aren't systematically abused. just individually abused- over and over and over.

child rape is the trifecta today- 14, 13, and now 10.

former minister. rape of four prostitutes. at knife-point. a butcher knife.

false rape allegations. yikes- definitely not good. murder, however- ALSO not really a good option. and he didn't just murder his girlfriend (the accuser), but also her sister. he stabbed his girlfriend in the back, and her sister, "Sabrina was stabbed 35 times, but Mr Ali said he only remembered stabbing her twice."

here's the thing. it doesn't matter what you do. take back the night. a vagina monologue. donate to a women's foundation. mentor a young man and teach him that violence against women is unacceptable. volunteer for a rape crisis line.

do SOMETHING. do it. NOW. women are being raped, every minute.