you take the good, you take the bad...the facts of life?

the good: Girlafesto! the coolest thing i've seen in a LONG time. i'm going to print it out for my nieces' bedroom walls!


the bad: the reality of life for women and girls. this particular story is from iraqi kurdistan, and is actually really beautiful and inspirational- but it only highlights the DAILY fight for equality women face, everywhere. (via the awesome thefbomb.org )


the facts of life: violence against women harms men too, and men have a vitally important role to play in ending it. A Brother's Story is a great insight into the perspective of one man fighting against intimate partner violence. (via http://www.vday.org/)

smart girls are scary, cont.

as school started over the last few days, i've heard a lot of complaining from students about having to go back, leaving carefree summers behind, and especially, new school uniform codes (shudder). all relatively normal, understandable, even expected complaints from american kids.

the gratitude we should all feel for the fact that our students can attend school free (generally) from fear or danger is easily forgotten.

40 afghan school girls were apparently poisoned in a gas attack as they sat in school this week.

and previously in may.

and april.

and last year.

always girls schools.

but they keep going to school, believing fervently in the value of education, their right to knowledge.

they are braver than i will ever be.

salam

this.is.so.right.ON.

1. The mosque isn’t just a mosque — it’s a cultural center which contains a prayer room, classrooms, a gym, a pool, a 9/11 memorial, a restaurant, galleries, and an auditorium. So it’s actually more like a YMCA — or, as its name would indicate, a community center — and will be open to all stripes of people. And isn’t at the Ground Zero site. It’s two blocks from the World Trade Center.

2. You know what else is in a two-block radius of Ground Zero (“Ground Zero,” by the way, being a term I loathe)? The same stuff that is on any given two-block radius in New York City. A sex shop. A few bars. Two strip clubs. A bunch of bodegas. Oh and there’s also a mosque already in lower Manhattan. That mosque has been there for a while and the world has not ended. So what’s the cut-off? Two blocks isn’t ok, but three is?

3. “People who were killed on 9/11″ and “Muslims” are not mutually exclusive groups. Yes, Muslims worked in the towers, and for the fire department, and for the police, and for emergency services. Yes, Muslims lived and worked (and still live and work) in lower Manhattan. “Muslims vs. People Impacted by 9/11″ doesn’t really work when those two categories overlap.

Keep reading this perfect explanation of the NON-ISSUE that is (should be) the Islamic cultural center at the world trade center site, via Jill @ Feministe.

couldn't have said it better myself.

From Feminsite:

I'm pretty sure I just hate cleaning toilets on my own, without any guidance
from Gloria Steinem on the subject.

LOL.

but yes, ahem, the evil feminists totally brainwashed the happy little housewives.

phylis.

via the awesome Fannie's Room:

You know, when I was a kid, I always thought we'd be driving flying cars, riding hoverboards, and eating astronaut food in the year 2010. Instead, we have Phylis Schlafly, still partying like it's 1959.

someone needs to tell Phylis about Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, Angela Merkel, Benazir Bhutto, Margaret Thatcher, Golda Meïr, and Indira Gandhi...seriously.

seriously.

still raging, still hoping

april sucks. it's my busiest month at work, so of course that means it flies by too quickly, resulting in me falling frustratingly behind, working late/odd hours, and feeling altogether frenzied for 30 days or so.

thus- no posts recently.


however! today was just too overwhelming, too whiplash-inducing to pass without comment. see exhibits A through F, below:


Exhibit A
after reading this exposition (warning- explicit language, and possible trigger warning) on Feminism for Young Dudes, twice, i've decided my reaction is more positive than negative. i get the ironic tone, and the exagerrated obviousnesss...i even smirked a couple of times ("What I would like is for you to stop thinking about women with an 18th-century disposition while you chill on your ipad in the future."). i think the author's intent is great, which is: feminism doesn't suck! it's actually good for everyone, not just "hairy-legged broads" (represent!). and any time a member of "the superstructure of male, white corporate oppression" speaks up for the oppressed (in this case, teh ladeez. but see also Tim Wise. ), their voice is amplified and enjoys a wider audience purely by virtue of their membership in the aforementioned oppression superstructure. we need all the allies, especially those with privilege, we can get to join the efforts to speak out against white, male, (hetero, able-bodied, etc.etc.etc.) privilege and equalize that good ol' "Liberty and Justice for All" stuff.

i especially liked the part about the way men (and women!) self-righteously throw around the words 'whore' and 'slut' to describe women who engage in consensual sex at similar rates to men...and how someday, maude-willing, those words will be as taboo and offensive and inappropriate as the n-word is- and for all the same reasons.

but i just can't shut that little voice in the back of my head up. the one that says, "why, oh why, in the year two thousand freakin' ten, do we still need to be having this conversation? why are 'young dudes' still in need of CONVINCING that their female friends, companions, sisters, lovers, are worthy of equal treatment and equal respect? why the h-e-double hockey sticks can't this message, which women (awesome women, like Jessica, and Fannie, and Pam, and Melissa, and Twisty!) are constantly repeating, be accepted as fact, instead of some sort of debatable theory?

so thanks for trying, Matt...i'm just annoyed that you have to try so hard.

-----

Exhibits B & C
then, after i processed all of that tasty internalized rage, i stumbled upon two perfect examples of Caution: Occupying space on planet earth While Female.

(Trigger Warnings for rape and violence)

this 12-year old girl, and this 13-year-old girl absolutely did not deserve the brutality they experienced at the hands of men.

incidentally, no headlines today about men being repeatedly and intentionally brutalized by women.

------

Exhibit D
then of course, a tuesday *headdesk*moment (they really do happen every day) re: boobquake. nice try re-claiming your bodies, grrlz...lucky for you, all the attention is still being paid exclusively to your chestular area, not your, you know...ideas & stuff. (this is what happens when we try to re-claim or re-define partiarchal ideas while operating within the partiarchal system. i'm not saying we shouldn't do it- i'm just saying, by and large, it doesn't work.)

----

Exhibits E & F
and then! a light shone upon me, and my plummeting morale was once again turned upward when i read the words of these two thoughtful, accomplished, intelligent women, discussing delightfully similar concepts (namely: the intersection of us all, and our human responsibility to each other- to care for and embrace, rather than to belittle and destroy):

Anousheh Ansari (the first female commercial space flight participant, and the first Muslim woman to travel to space): What We Do Matters More Than Labels.

Especially love her point here:

Remind people of who they really are, and not which box they are in, because
those lines [that divide us] really do not exist.

And,
Janet Haag (executive director of Fellowship in Prayer, and organization that calls people to interfaith spiritual practice): Let Us Pray -- With or Without a National Day of Prayer.

As she reminds us:

As a number of wise people have observed, "Prayer doesn't change God; prayer
changes us." We are in need of such transformation-- to become reconcilers,
peacemakers, and justice-bearers. I think those values are shared by theists,
non-theists and athiests-- all who hope for a better world.

amen to that.

scream-worthy

here's what's making me want to scream today:

Fat Hatred
it's insidious "because being fat is viewed not only as a flaw, but as a flaw by choice, a moral failing due to weakness of character." (via Shakesville)

love this last line- so maddeningly true, for so many women:

There is not "a thin person" inside of me screaming to get out. There is only me, screaming for my right to exist in the body I have.

--

Prude? (warning- graphic descriptions of sex in the linked article)
objectification. so old news, isn't it? women are objectified every day, in every medium. great blog post from Ms. Magazine about the effects of that omnipresent objectification. but my question is- so how to we really stop it? really?

the answer i'm coming up with more and more often is: women need to make more MONEY. feminists need to acquire wealth. instead of making feminism our life's work, we need to make money like everyone else, and then we can use it to advance our feminist ideals. but without the power that comes with having serious capital, how will we, for example, have any effect on the development, production and marketing of movies and tv shows that objectify us? really? how will we?

--

Afghan women fear loss of hard-won progress
what the author of this article in the Washington Post really means to say, i think, is that Afghan women fear what women all over the world fear (and in particular, what u.s. women rightfully fear this week as well, as health care purportedly comes up for a "final" vote): BEING THROWN UNDER THE BUS.

forgive us if we find it hard to swallow when men in positions of power and leadership say, "trust us, we have your best interest in mind."

--

After 13 years, police still hunting for East Coast Rapist
hunted like animals; women are victims of men's violence every day. how is it possible that rape is still tolerated in this country. that rapists are not convicted for the predatory criminals that they are, and in fact, rape kits are put on a shelf and never even tested for DNA?

how.
is.
this.
possible?
unless there is a real and systematic repression of women going on? women's voices, women's abuses, and women's lives are silenced, covered up (unless they are deemed "sexy"), and ignored. it's real. and every woman in america is affected by it.

--

How We're Doing: Women and Wealth
this is staggering. literally staggering. Ms. Magazine brings light to the recent study by the Insight Center for Community Economic Development, also highlighted in the Pittsburg Post-Gazette, which reveals:

1. single white women (between the ages of 36-49) make only 61% as much as white men on average. that 61% works out to a median wealth of about $42,600. (and wealth = all owned assets)

chew on that for a minute. lily ledbetter knows what i'm talking about.
next,

2. single black women (of the same age) have a median wealth of $5.
you didn't read that incorrectly. 1,2,3,4,5.

$5.

now either EVERY single black woman between 36-49 is ____(fill in the blank with the disgusting stereotypes of welfare-abusing/drug-abusing/lazy/stupid/makesmewanttothrowup)...

OR

maybe, just maybe, there are system-level inequalities that contribute to this sickening gap in wealth & self-sufficiency. for instance: as a white woman who was raised in a two-parent home, it was just sort of expected that i would attend college. (it was NOT expected that my parents would pay for it.) so i worked 3 jobs and applied for scholarships and made it through.

but what if i hadn't come from a 2-parent household? what if neither of my parents had college educations? what if i couldn't find work on the radio (which i did) because my voice sounded "too black"? what if no one told me about the opportunities to test out of entry-level courses, which enabled me to graduate early and accumulate less debt?

The U.S. has a long history of policies that transferred wealth from people of
color to whites [...]As examples, the Indian Removal Act of 1830 forcibly
removed Cherokees from their traditional lands to make room for white settlers.
Jim Crow laws kept African Americans out of better paying jobs, quality public
education and business opportunities. The benefits of citizenship, open to
Europeans, was forbidden to Asian immigrants. The exclusion of Social Security
coverage for a whole generation of farm workers, laborers and domestic workers,
kept Latino and black elders in poverty. Advantage and disadvantage is passed
from generation to generation, often with a cumulative effect, thereby
contributing to the current racial wealth gap.

it isn't a myth. race matters, especially to women. to women's lives.

so, what makes YOU want to scream today?

violence = violence

anyone who knows me would (hopefully) tell you that i care about cultural sensitivity and that i respect and admire differences in culture, religion, background, etc.

what i do not respect is the way some people (not any particular culture as a whole, or religion...but people who care more about power and dominion than their fellow human being) use their culture or religion as an excuse to perpetrate violence against women and girls.

this is a great blog post from Madre, an incredible organization dedicated to fighting violence against women, creating financial equality and building peace. their blog highlights all kinds of amazing efforts, and the one they link to in this blog post, the Global Campaign to Stop Killing and Stoning Women looks like something i'd admire too- so straightforward and truthful. violence against women cannot be hidden behind the veil of religion, culture or tradition.

violence is ALWAYS violence. it's never right.

Women in the World Cheat Sheet

this is so great, and i love how they've called it a cheat sheet. for any time you need to quickly remember the way to solve problems for women (which become problems for men, of course)-

here are the ways to do it, clear and simple:

1. Get men on board

2. Pay families that embrace change

3. Publicize victims' stories

4. Support a woman entrepreneur through microcredit

5. Give a woman a phone

6. Build bridges

none of these are difficult strategies, or earth-shattering ideas. they make sense. give women a voice, access, capital, and support. period.

this cheat sheet needs to be on every senator & representative's desk, on every president, prime minister and world leader's agenda. voila! treating women equally leads to equal opportunities, which leads to healthier communities.

refusing to be ignored

wow.

what a powerful essay by Mona Eltahawy, about the horror of, and real reason behind, the practice of female genital mutilation.

"[The] analogy of penis chopping was absurd not just because if boys were being
mutilated the world would not be so silent but because, really, who would want
to control male sexuality? We invent little blue pills to boost it."

like so many other practices which are ingrained, entrenched and generally accepted, FGM is about so much more than the actual physical act. it's about power and control.

as is rape.
as is the wage gap.
as are standards of beauty.

and all this manipulation, subjugation, and control over women is everywhere.

no really. EVERYWHERE.

"Prevalent mostly in Africa, the Middle East and parts of Asia, FGM is no
longer a traditional practice that harms girls just "over there". As a result of
immigration and refugee movements, FGM is now being practiced in the U.S.
Canada, Europe, Australia and New Zealand."

it is NOT just "over there" that women are cut.
it is NOT just "over there" that raped women are murdered because they bring shame to their husband or father's family.
it is NOT just "over there" that women and girls are kept from reaching their full potential by lack of education, resource and the simple encouragement to try, while boys not only receive all those things, but are expected to be successful socially, financially and sexually.

these symptoms of sexism harm women AND men. girls AND boys.

what if human beings could find a way to treat one another as equally valued, of equal worth and dignity...? wow, indeed.

for now, i applaud Mona Eltahawy and women like her who are refusing to be ignored.

a post about football (yes, really! sort of.)

i hadn't planned on cheering for the saints in the big game (frankly, i hadn't given it any thought at all). but i believe i shall, now!

Scott Fujita shows us all how to be respectful, support equal civil rights, AND a be great linebacker, all at the same time! (via Jezebel) not your usual testosterone-y triumverate.

thoughtful analysis of class-related nuances to reproductive rights? CHECK.

speaking out publicly and in the locker room on issues that have the potential to be viewed as gendered (aka breast cancer is a women's disease) and/or effeminate? CHECK.

choosing to play for the saints in post-katrina new orleans, and use his "small platform as a professional football player" because he believes life is about MORE than just football? CHECK.


well-played, Mr. Fujita. well-played indeed. allies show up in the most unlikely places sometimes. go saints!

blog for choice!

today is the 37th anniversary of roe v. wade. NARAL Pro Choice America celebrates this milestone through Blog for Choice Day!



In honor of Dr. George Tiller, who often wore a button that simply read, "Trust Women," this year's Blog for Choice Day question is: What does Trust Women mean to you? in order to participate- just answer the question, and make sure to let NARAL know that you are participating!

so, to me, Trust Women means that i wouldn't have to hear anything like "don't worry your pretty little head about it" ever again.

turns out, my pretty little head is perfectly capable of worrying about anything it wants to, and furthermore, it has every right to worry, fret, parse, weigh or decide what's right for its own self, tyvm. (also: condescending much? )

Trust Women covers so much ground. it makes me think of so many issues in addition to reproductive rights: from the prosecution of sex-workers (instead of the johns) to the treatment of women atheletes, academics and politicians, to equal pay.

"Trust Women" is a sobering reminder that so much of the world still needs reminding that women are of inherently equal value, and should be treated as such. period. full stop.

----

in other news- how much do i love Mo"Nique's hairy legs at the globes last weekend?? (via Feministing). judging by all the uproar about her awesome mashup of furry-and-french pedicure, clearly women aren't even trusted to make the right choices about their own LEGS.
*eye roll*

random rants

a couple of items that caught my eye during my daily headline perusal:

3 recent "domestic" fatalities in iowa seen as a coincidence.
except they're no coincidence. they are all products of the same system that devalues women's lives and glorifies violence and abuse as acceptable solutions to conflict. that system goes by many names, but his friends call him patriarchy.

to spawn or not to spawn
i feel a lot of the same frustrations Lucy does. like her, there are some children i dearly love (my perfect niece being one of them!), and find babies endearing (when they aren't smelly, loud or messy.) but i have ZERO interest in creating one of my own. zilch. nada. zip. not only do i not feel any sort of biological imperative personally, i'm radical enough in my beliefs about our exploding global population, i usually have to bite my tongue when i hear about people having babies for the purposes of "carrying on the family name" (are you kidding? it's a NAME. adopt a child and give them your name! but that's a whole other discussion re: the importance of men's names...) or "to feel complete" (isn't that pretty much the definition of co-dependency? needing another being to complete you?).

anyway- the pressure to have babies is omnipresent for women my age. while i do believe women who choose to bear children should not be treated unequally, paid less, or be automatically assumed to be the primary caregivers (unless they chose to have a baby without a partner; and, stay-at-home mom should be a paid position with benefits), i also believe that women who choose not to have children should receive equitable treatment. in other words- the decision whether or not to have babies should be no more defining than the decision to have extra foam on her latte. fertility should not be a moral issue.

see also: choosing not to bear children for ecological reasons; and, if men had babies.

and finally today, Jessica Valenti takes on feminist elitism in a really interesting blog post. she says (and i agree):

Everybody – whether or not they take Women’s Studies, have read Judith Butler or
heard of Foucault – deserves to have feminism in their lives.

I am proudly someone who tries to convince women that feminism will make their
lives better – not only because it’s the truth, but because then those same
women go on to change their families, communities and even country.

i should say, i bet the author Jessica is refuting (Nina Power) would have some really interesting things to say as well. but it struck me as i read Jessica's post- what if more women (like, significantly more...like, ALL women) realized all the positive impacts feminism could have, and has had, on their lives? what if all women really did believe that women (individually and as a class) are people too? the world as we know it would look radically different if more than half its population actually did think that women were 'created equal'.

yep, i read things like that and i start doing the math in my head (no small feat, as i am of course, a woman, and those numbers- they just fly right out of my head!). how many more years have i likely got on this planet? how much progress can we make in that time? could i actually live to see the day?

here's hoping!

home run, hillary!

Hills hit it out of the park on friday in a speech abou tthe 15th anniversary of the conference in Cairo for global population development!



highlights:

"Too often, still today in 2010, women and girls bear the burdens of
regional and global crises, whether it’s an economic downturn or climate change
or political instability. They still are the majority of the world’s poor,
unschooled, unhealthy, and underfed. They are rarely the cause of violent conflicts, but increasingly they bear the consequences of such conflicts."

"Global rates of maternal mortality remain perilously high; one woman dies
every minute of every day in pregnancy or childbirth, and for every woman who dies, another 20 suffer from injury, infection, or disease every minute."

"An estimated 70 million – that is 70 million women and girls worldwide – have been subjected to female genital cutting, a procedure that is not only painful and traumatic but is also the source of infections and increased risks of injury during childbirth."

"When a girl becomes a mother before she becomes literate, when a woman
gives birth alone and is left with a permanent disability, when a mother toils
daily to feed her large family but cannot convince her husband to agree to
contraception, these struggles represent suffering that can and should be
avoided. They represent potential that goes unfulfilled."

"Investing in the health of women, adolescents, and girls is not only the
right thing to do; it is also the smart thing to do."

"We are doing all of these things because we have seen that when women and
girls have the tools to stay healthy and the opportunity to contribute to their
families’ well-being, they flourish and so do the people around them."

right on, madam secretary.

what do we have to be thankful for?

i'm thankful for this guy ( @nhavey), who posted this piece on HuffPo regarding the recent Sacred Heart University lacrosse team rape case (yep, another one), and i'm thankful for the way he clearly and articulately outlines the rape myths being flung about. i'm so tired of hearing people say 'boys will be boys' and 'she should have known better'.

also, if this article about the power of investing in women farmers in the developing world doesn't make you want to revolt (love that call to action, btw), we need to talk. (follow the author @dansilverstein)


now, on to what i'm NOT thankful for. some of this isn't really NEWs any more...but i've been kind of distracted lately, and haven't had time to post.

1. brazilian woman expelled from university for wearing a mini-skirt. (this in the country for whom the brazilian bikini wax is named???)

2. australian students create pro-rape facebook group. (because that's not inciting violence at all.)

3. the World Economic Forum says the U.S. is 31st in the world in terms of women's equality in matters of politics, education, health and economic opportunity. we rank LOWER than yemen, cambodia, the phillipines, mexico and venezuela in women's health and survival.

4. british police are treating rape victims skeptically if they have been drinking, were in the wrong part of town or have reported a previous rape. (translation: she asked for it.)


i'd really like to experience a thanksgiving, in my lifetime, when i can say i'm thankful for women's emancipation from rape, freedom from discrimination, and equality in every nation.

safety in numbers

just imagine if you were this teenaged girl's parents. you send her off to her high school homecoming dance. take tons of pictures of her in her new dress, with her hair done, and standing nervously next to her date. before you know it, she's called for a ride home...uh-oh. wondering what kind of adolescent embarassment or BFF squabble might have precipitated the early call, you get in the car to go pick her up.

except that you can't find her at the school gym.

when you do find her, she's been raped, beaten and robbed. by several men. in front of numerous other people. who did nothing to help her.

what could have been going through those people's minds? she deserved it? she asked for it? she should have known better?

the only message this kind of horror gives us is that women are considered OBJECTS, worthless and expendable.
still.
today.

equality is not a reality for women. no matter how many of us like to think 'we've come a long way baby'. not until the rape and torture of women on a daily basis is erradicated. and if we can't even do that in our own neighborhoods, how can we hope to do anything for the women in the congo, or darfur, or afghanistan?

THIS is what feminism is about. and this is why i can't understand when women and men shy away from that label. is the rape of one in every 4 women ok? does that sound like we've "achieved equality"?? rape culture is the reality. but i do not accept that this will always be the case. and the more of us who do not accept that reality, the sooner we can change it.

STOP RAPE.

gendercide

this book is on my list: Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

among the alarming findings: 1 maternal death every MINUTE worldwide.

this review (among others) reminds me why i gotta read this book.

check it out!

*cough* *sputter*

we'd "probably" be a better country if women no longer had the right to vote!?!?!?!?!

i suppose we'd probably be a better country if rape was decriminalized, gays were institutionalized and people of color were segregated too, wouldn't we?

truly: this guy is why our nation and our world is so broken. this guy and the millions of other people like him. he thinks he's just making a little point about 'the good ol' days' (before women were recognized as equally worthy of a voice), but what he's really saying is that anyone who is not exactly like him is simply UNDESERVING of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

preach it!

i only wish i could be this eloquent in explaining why true equality for women is so imperative!

"how can the U.S. become a champion for women globally if we lack the strength, fortitude and resolve to achieve equality here, in the wealthiest democracy in the world?"

yale, yemen, uganda

annie le's body was found stuffed in a wall in her yale university lab building.

12-year old Fawziya was in labor for 3 days before she finally died of severe bleeding, and the baby was killed in the process of labor as well. Fawziya would have been in 4th grade, but she was forced to drop out and marry a 24 year old man.

women in uganda are forcibly stripped of their trousers, made to walk home naked. (women in skirts were not accosted.)




the point is: it doesn't matter if you're a successful american yale co-ed, a yemeni child bride, or a woman minding her own business in uganda. on every continent, on every DAY, women are considered to be...

UNEQUAL.

we do not have equal rights. we do not have equal opportunities. we do not have equal safety. female human beings are by default LESS THAN.

and that's unacceptable.